Margaret Ellis explains why she writes the Dear Maggie column each month in Christianity.
Each month my Dear Maggie column provides you with an opportunity to email in your questions about sex and relationships. As a Psychosexual Therapist I will do my best to use my experience to help us as a Christian community to really talk about sex. The goal of sexual purity will be our aspiration, with the grace of Jesus as our travelling companion.
The reality is we are all sexual beings under our clothes, however high or low our buttons do up, whether we find ourselves alone, with one partner or a history of many. Our desire as Christians is to honour God and each other with our bodies, to live in beauty and purity, aspiring after our Maker’s creation ideal. This would have been a glittering ball if we hadn’t messed up God’s paradise garden. But here we are, with the beautiful, bewildering and broken gift of being sexual, seeking to honour God.
Dear Maggie is going to be a place where as Christians we can take the lid off this holy and intimate subject, exploring our real life dilemmas. My aim will be to be frank and non-evasive. I feel passionate for us as Christians to grapple with our sexuality in order to strengthen us to live up to God’s creation intention, throughout the life stages. I don’t believe we can do this alone.
I am hopeful that this page will become a talking point between friends and lovers, church leaders and members. Why? Because I believe Scripture has a principle that when we bring things into the light, God can purify and heal. Sexual problems tend to get worse if we bury our heads in the sand and accommodate them. They then have the tendency to stretch their sour tendrils into what was otherwise a happy marriage, and eat into our walk with God. As a church leadership community, maybe we have been guilty of the sins of omission, in the way we have retreated from this pervasively human topic.
Editor John Buckeridge explains his decision to print a monthly 'agony aunt' column to answer your questions about sex and relationships.
Margaret Ellis is an experienced psychosexual therapist, which combined with her years as a church leader, makes her well qualified to speak into this sensitive area and help us think, discuss and develop a theology of good sex.
After announcing our intention to provide this column each month in Christianity, we have received a steady stream of email questions for Maggie to address about sex and relationships. They require frank and honest answers, which some readers might struggle with. But the church has not got a great track record on providing relevant, practical and real advice on sex.
Sex is God’s invention, not Hollywood’s. To misquote Larry Norman’s classic song: ‘Why should the devil have all the good sex books?’ So it’s time we reclaimed this gift and defended this holy, fun, marriage-enhancing, pleasurable, life-giving blessing, instead of acting like it is something to be ashamed of.
Our sex-saturated society surrounds us with images and words which distort and damage this wonderful gift from God — so I felt it was important and overdue to give space in the pages of Christianity to consider a biblical and holy approach to sex and sexuality.
The aim is not to shock or titillate, far from it, but to shed God’s light into dark corners. Sadly many Christians struggle with sexual sins, habits and fantasies. This causes much distress and damages the relationship between the believer and God. Shame, fear, embarrassment and a host of other emotions means some Christians feel unable or unwilling to share their problems with their pastor or a trained counsellor. But these problems don’t go away when hidden – quite the reverse — so both Maggie and I hope and pray this series brings hope, release, healing and the grace of God into many lives.