The Day I...:

stopped dieting

Sue Prosser was seriously overweight and desperate to do something about it...

It was a frightening wake-up call. Dropping to my knees I cried out, “Oh God, help me. I can’t control this! Show me where I’m going wrong. Give me strength!” It was January 2004. I had just weighed myself and discovered I was at an all-time high of more than 14 stone.

I knew I had lost control. As I looked from the weighing scales to my obese reflection in the bathroom mirror I could not deny my self-neglect any longer. My life and ministry in the church, alongside my husband, was successful. So how could I be failing myself and God so badly, letting my weight balloon unhealthily?

I began battling with my weight at a young age. I was raised in a hotel where I had instant access to rich and luxurious foods. This put in place habits of eating that I found hard to shake off later on.

I had dieted on and off throughout my adult life, always aiming to be less than 11,12 or 13 stone depending on how much my weight had crept up! With God’s help I managed to lose a few pounds here and there, but the weight always piled back on – with more besides. Then, in the sad aftermath of a failed mission in Africa, I started to comfort eat. It was partly out of boredom, partly out of the pain of having to come home early and not achieving what we had hoped to, and partly feeling I might be criticised for the failure.

In December 2003 we went on a cheap holiday break which turned out to be pretty awful – bad weather, poor hotel, little to do. The only good thing was the inclusive mealtime buffets, which I felt I needed to eat large amounts of to ‘get my money’s worth.’ Then there was the Christmas binge… I caved in to all my cravings, stuffed myself with food and rocketed up by 20lbs in two months.

The day that I handed my body over to God proved to be the vital key to being able to overcome my disordered eating. From this point onwards, with my new attitudes and new commitment, I would no longer regard myself as obese (irrespective of what the scales said) I was now a slim person in recovery!

God, in his grace, showed me why my eating was out of control: I was eating out of boredom; eating to numb the pain of recent past hurts and a sense of failure and eating to get my money’s worth – all without ever considering whether or not I was hungry. He also showed me how diets – the world’s way of weight control – didn’t work and that he had a better way if I would trust him.

He taught me how to surrender my appetite to him on a daily basis, and in return he gave me a new freedom to eat, without all the dietary rules and regulations that I could never achieve and which always left me feeling deprived and resentful.

I prayed, and learnt to listen to his voice guiding my eating, and I learnt that he had given me an amazing gift – a body that, if I listened carefully, would tell me just when and how much food it needed.

In surrendering my appetite to God, allowing him to heal my heart, and focusing, not on myself or food, but on him, the excess weight took care of itself, shrinking steadily over the course of a year. I now eat in total freedom, yet responsibly. And yes, I can still eat cake!

For the past three-and-a-half years I have weighed ten stone and been size 10/12 – slimmer than I was at the age of 16. Since the day that I realised my obesity was jeopardising God’s plan for my life I have not only lost over four stone in weight, but have been freed permanently from the magnetism of food and from my constant yo-yo dieting past. My relationship with food has been transformed.

I know God loved me when I was obese the same as he loves me now that I am slim. Nothing can ever change that. But what has changed is my sense of self-worth, my personal sense of responsibility and the fact that I can now say, by the grace of God, that I have a Holy Spirit controlled appetite.

Sue Prosser is founder of Fit for Life Forever (www.fitforlifeforever.org) a healthy lifestyle Christian weight regulation course and is author of ‘How to stop dieting and start living’ (Kingsway) ISBN 9781842913413.

Kate Corney is a freelance journalist.